SHOW 7: 8TH AUGUST
Yesterday was the greatest gig of the run so far. It was a great gig – at the time – but then I made the mistake of actually listening back to the tape and began to doubt the judgement of the audience in liking it so much. My performance was sloppy, laking vocal variation, not smooth enough, the rhythm was all over the place. I think the audience were laughing at what the show was supposed to be rather than what it was. I further made the mistake of listening to tape of yesterday’s show immediately before today’s show and thus demoralising myself.
Yesterday the gig was way better than the performance, today it is the polar opposite. I have to confess to listening to the tape of today’s gig before writing this, so it is not the report I would have ordinarily banged out in the immediate aftermath of the gig, imbued with sincerity and genuine emotion. No this report has become contaminated by facts.
Today the performance has clarity and energy, better diction and maintains it’s beat and rhythm in the face of indifference. The biggest criticism is that it mainly oscillates between two modes of speaking and its needs more variety.
The show starts well as I berate the audience for coming on a Wednesday – who the hell does that? I am better at getting into character today, right off the bat and immediately the energy is flowing. This allows me to launch into the first routine (or is it now the second, has the intro become the first routine? What is a routine anyway? If I do it everyday does that make it a routine? Or does it have to have certain other structural qualities to qualify as a routine? Is it merely an aside? Can I do an aside before I have done anything else. You can’t start on an aside can you?) ‘More friendly than I look’ with impetus. I am aware of a certain resistance in the room but I am now undimmed in spirit and and am in the flow. I am perhaps bashing it out a bit too much? But I feel that taking it down a notch and making it more naturalistic will hit the momentum.
I start to notice them falling away at “Empathy” and they are never really into it after that. I can wrestle them back for small moments but honestly they are difficult to hold. Strangely some of the more harsh/controversial bits such as Pubic hair actually do get a positive reaction. I keep fighting for them but they just resist and resist. I am still trying to maintain energy and not speed up but I must be surely?
I think by Animals it is all over and I do wonder if it is even worth doing Vegetarians but I want to do the whole show. Actually I have over run which is the first indication I have that I have not sped up but instead maintained my pace. Actually today the pace was the best it has been and has a stately quality. The show breathed more today. The delivery was better if a bit heightened.
I fought like a lion today or perhaps a smaller big cat – a puma.
Lowest bucket of the run so far. According to the tape the best performance so far. Audience in a fairly truculent mood at the bucket in telling me it wasn’t for them or not putting money in a defiant way. A Danish man tells me “he didn’t get it” like that is an excuse for not putting money in. A man slowly gets into his wheelchair and goes past with his carer without putting any money in. The fact that it takes ages seems to add to the defiance. They all feel a bit angered with me, it is sort of different to disappointment. I don’t see what their problem is? I feel like drinking alcohol today.