A Piggy Interview WithJohn McInnes (Match of the Stick)

Performer: John McInnes
Photograph by: Pete Sherrard
Show: Match of the Stick
Venue: 3 Broomsticks
Promoter: Hat on Dog
Online: Box Office Facebook Website

 

Tell me about your Edinburgh show.

Match of the Stick is a compilation stand-up show with a sketch narrative linking the standups. At one point it was very sports-themed, last year it was very religious and comperéd by a large tree branch on stage. We aim to be the most accessible, stick-centric comedy show of the fringe, however if any of that sounds un-inviting I encourage you not to attend. There’s so many other shows you could see!

 

Tell me about your first gig.

I did well, then spent 3 more minutes performing a monologue as Matthew McConaughey’s lawyer character in “A Time To Kill”, getting the audience to imagine their dad farting.

 

Do you have any rituals before going on stage?

I read Wikipedia to memorise the symptoms of locked-in syndrome, in case that becomes useful.

Tell me about your best and worst review.

Chef kissing his fingers – “Mwah!”

Baby pointing to his full diaper – “UH OH!”

During this Edinburgh run, do you plan to read reviews of your show?

No, I plan to write reviews of my show. I don’t plan on reading those reviews.

 

How do you feel about reviewers generally?

“I’m like hey, if you were paying attention the first time you wouldn’t have to re-view it!” – Me, playing to the reviewers at a gig in a manner which alienates the audience and confuses the reviewer.

 

In April 2018, YouTube comedian, Markus Meechan (aka Count Dankula) was fined £800 for training his girlfriend’s pug dog to do a Nazi salute with its paw, in response to the phrase ‘Gas the Jews’. Do you believe Meechan committed a criminal offence, and why?

I’d fine him £1000 for being called “Count Dankula”

 

Are there any subjects that are not suitable for comedy?

The Nagorno-Karabakh conflict. It’s not well enough known to be humorous.

 

Have you ever gone too far?

Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption. I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway. And more, much more than this I did it my way. Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew when I bit off more than I could chew, but through it all, when there was doubt I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all and I stood tall. And did it my way. I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried I’ve had my fill my share of losing and now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing to think I did all that, and may I say, not in a shy way. Oh no, oh no, not me. I did it my way. For what is a man, what has he got if not himself, then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels. The record shows I took the blows and did it my way. Yes, it was my way.

 

Looking back over your time as a comedian, tell me about the best gig of your career.

I literally don’t remember any gigs, there’s no point. They’re basically all pretty decent.


John McInnes was talking to Wrigley Worm.

Published Sunday, July 29th, 2018

Find John McInnes on the web -

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