Pig PensTHIS FESTIVAL MIGHT APPEAR FINISHED BUT IT IS NOT
Edinburgh.
Erratic weather conditions. Sun. Rain. Heavier rain. Sun. Icy chill. Hot streak. A tough 5 minutes. Bought an anorak. Wore it a few times. Got wet beneath. Found a label on the interior stating: THIS ITEM MIGHT APPEAR WATERPROOF BUT IT IS NOT. Obviously one of those jackets to cater to the demands of folk who go into shops saying, ‘Hi, I wonder if you could help, I’m looking for a coat with outward appearance of waterproofing but none of the benefits.’
‘Come this way sir, I have just the thing you’re looking for.’
Why would you sell that? Who knowingly buys that?
That said, my friend has taken to wearing glasses without any glass in – so frames really. The net result is that I find it harder to look at him. So, paradoxically, they’re visually impairing me, and offering no help to him. Style over substance! Why?! But that’s just Edinburgh festival in the later stages, acts have the semblance of performers, but some of the intrinsic ingredients are now missing. But as long as it looks like the thing its meant to be you can just about get away with it.
It is an Invasion of the Body Snatchers type scenario that takes place somewhere during the final week of the fringe, acts start changing: convivial banter on the streets ceases and is replaced by purposeful nods; shows are no longer fretted over but performed knowingly. It could just be cold blooded efficiency and professionalism but that is exactly the argument the body snatchers used.
But still that does not explain why my raincoat admits water with the open enthusiasm of a garden in a drought. Cold and efficient, the body snatchers would not let this kind of thing happen.