Pig PensSatu-rated fats
I came to the Fringe with big plans, big dreams, of maybe becoming the best version of myself while I was here. With just my show on every night and whole days free I thought nothing would be stopping me from eating healthy, running every day and becoming the version of myself that I’ve always dreamed I could be.
Not so. I’ve gone on one run, and by run I mean I was running left for a show so had to run, and my diet has been… less than ideal.
So without further ado here are the saddest meals I have eaten at the Fringe:
Two fried Eggs With Two Fried Frankfurters.
I had this for breakfast when it was the only groceries we had left.
One Star.
The Sub of the Day, Filling Unknown.
I was running late for my show and I asked for the Sub of the Day and I honestly don’t know what was in it.
Two Stars
Two Fish Tacos
These were from the cart outside my venue, eaten while sitting on the side on the street, moments after my show before heading to a gig. I’ve had this meal four times so far.
And it’s not the food that’s sad here, but the location. I sat on the footpath.
Three Stars
Hot Chips
Every time I have had chips in this godforsaken country they have been terrible – do you not know how to do them here? Appreciate readily available condiments though.
Two Stars
Pringles in Bread With Mayonnaise
Ate this after getting home at four am after a late gig. Honestly… recommended
Three and a half stars
Diet Coke “Exotic Mango”
I had this, as I guess dinner, before a show and it’s honestly the worst drink I have ever had.
No Stars
A Coronation Chicken Wrap
Why were there raisins in this?
Two and a Half Stars.
Tea Cakes
Ok, fair play United Kingdom, you did well with these. I had two of these for lunch the other day and, despite the fact that the filling definitely looks way to shiny to be real food, it was a delight.
Five Stars.