Hoots MacUzi


A rabid nationalist, Hoots was actually hoping for a ‘No’ vote in the referendum as he believed that it would lead to civil war and a chance to use up his stockpile of Molotov cocktails and pipe bombs.

Hoots’ dangerous hobby has already burned down six houses in Leith, all of which he blamed on English medical students, who were promptly lynched as ‘wizards of science-voodoo’ by angry crowds outside Pilrig Motors.

Hoots has always had a particular beef with the English reviewers who swamp his home city every year, littering the streets with their printouts and pulp zines. As long as nobody mentions politics, or the referendum, Hoots is an amiable character. He writes most of his reviewer-reviews at home, as nobody in the office can stand listening to the Jessie Rae music bleeding out of his headphones.

Hoots likes reviewers who speak their mind, using simple words. Preferably quite loudly: Hoots was rendered partially deaf while trying to blow up Hadrian’s Wall in 1996.

Editor’s note: Hoots MacUzi no longer writes for Fringepig.